New Cl: "I've done a lot of work here already.
Dick So have I, this is always a two way street, you know.
Cl: I have been working on myself. A phrase that came to me many years ago is this voice that says, "not for you." I'm not sure what it means. It is kind of that forbidden area, or I am supposed to be here and not there, and I am experiencing that here in terms of: do I want to pay attention to the concepts and ideas, and experience that totally myself, or spend the time writing it down and miss something. I am feeling that terror of "Well, I'll record it so I can use it for other people, but not take the time for myself. There is an internal process that says I am not supposed to pay attention to my own experience.
Dick: You are supposed to be tending to business.
Cl: Yes.
Dick: The business outside yourself. Take your time. Just take your time, don't rush it. Hold your hand up like that. When I count from 1 to 5 you can try to put it down., and maybe it won't go down. 1,2,3,4,5. Try to put it down. Okay, good, it goes down.
Cl: I felt the trance happening and the breath lengthening. I want to say I appreciate all the tools and experiences I've gotten from working with you. It is the most valuable experience of my life. It has helped me come alive. She was talking about looking for a teacher and I feel that you are my teacher.
Dick: So at some point your unconscious will make you really aware, give you insight, in other words, into this self image that says you mustn't pay attention to yourself, that you must pay attention to business. That business is more important than you are.
Cl: And I know that that is not true.
Dick: But it is contrary to the self image, and that is what that little voice is.
Cl: There is something that needs to be done, and how can it get done if I'm paying attention to my own experience.
Dick: Right. Say that again.
Cl: There is something that needs to be done, and how can it be done if I'm paying attention to my own experience.
Dick: Keep repeating that.
Cl: There is something that needs to be done, and how can it be done if you are paying attention to your own experience. (repeated over and over)
Dick: What is it that needs to be done? Repeat that.
Cl: What is it that needs to be done? (repeats) with varying voice and emphasis)
Dick: Paying attention to my own experience"(Dick repeats. Laughter. Client repeats). You keep saying that while I am talking. What is it that needs to be done? (repeats over and over while clients repeats the other part) What are you experiencing right now?
Cl: Heat. Breath. My face is relaxing. More alive.
Dick: Have you ever seen the trance induction with two people talking at the same time?
Have you ever seen it?
Cl: No.
Dick: No, you haven't?
Cl: No, or have I? (laughter)
Dick: Okay, well, we will see what happens. How that comes up for you. At what point your unconscious suddenly gives you that so that you are conscious of it. Because when you become conscious of it, you will be freed of it. See, we have no control over the unconscious self image, it puts us on automatic. We just do it that way. Even though we say that it is silly, we still do it that way. When that image comes into consciousness, it loses its potency, and then you can say, "That is not I." Okay, well see what happens, N.
Cl: And feel what happens.
Dick: It is nice to see you again.
Next: Writer's block